10: The Comradery of Others

Gretchen Rubin is an American author that studies happiness and human habits. Although her expertise is in law, her ideas about human nature is fascinating, and she makes her thoughts relatable for average folks like me. One of her most popular books, “The Four Tendencies,” made popular her idea that people fall into four behavioral categories: Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels. As an “Obliger,” I traditionally value expectations set by others but have difficulty setting inner expectations. In other words, I’m a follower. I use the word traditionally because I don’t know if this completely fits me perfectly, especially in the last several years.

In any event, setting a consistent writing routine has been a massive struggle for the better part of two decades. I would feel obligated to finish my end of year stories for my students, and then I would take months off. In 2016, when I began writing Arie, I was able to inconsistently write in chunks throughout the year. This continued until I found Shut Up and Write.

Shut Up and Write is a global non-profit devoted to helping writers bond, mingle, and get their writing done. It’s a neat idea: we meet for a half hour beforehand to chat, silently write for an hour, and then spend a bit more time talking. After a falling out with a nearby host, I started a SUAW session in the county I live in. For two months it was just me at the Sunday session. That was one and a half years ago. Now I’m drawing between 10 to 12 writers each week. Plus, my session now has two off-shoots in the county. I’m honestly pretty proud of the success we’re having!

I needed this group. The Sunday morning, Monday evening, and Thursday evening SUAW meet-ups obligate me to write. That’s a consistent three hours per week of writing time. Plus, these meet-ups fuel other times to write. Many of the regulars are now friends, and I love hearing about their writing journeys.

Writing can be a solitary hobby, but we need each other.